Dissatisfied

You did the things you were supposed to do. Good job. Decent relationships. People who love you and tell you so. And somewhere underneath all of that, you have a nagging question: is this it?

You're not in crisis. Nothing is falling apart. That almost makes it harder to name, because what do you even say? My life is fine and I still feel like I'm missing something? I have what other people yearn for and it’s not filling this void?

You may recognize some of this:

● Doing everything "right" and still feeling like you're waiting for the part where it clicks
● Wondering if everyone else knows something about being satisfied that you don't
● Feeling behind, or selfish, for wanting more when your life looks good on paper
● A restlessness that doesn't have an obvious cause, so you assume you're the problem
● Turning over the same big decision for months, maybe years, and still not landing anywhere
● Watching other people take a risk and feeling something between admiration and envy you can't quite explain

What We Do in Sessions

We're going to make space to actually sit with what "more" means for you. You've probably already asked yourself the question, more than once, and landed nowhere useful. That's not because you're avoiding it. It's because this isn't the kind of question you can think your way to the bottom of alone, and it might require you to consider something big. If it does, we'll get there when you're ready, not before.

This is also where a lot of my clients end up doing some real thinking about a transition, and it isn't always a career change. Sometimes it's a relationship you've outgrown, a decision you've been circling for years, or a version of your life you haven't let yourself picture because it would mean admitting the current one isn't enough. I changed careers in my mid-thirties. I gave up a stable salary and an identity I'd built over a decade to bet on something that actually matched what I valued. I'm not going to tell you that was easy, but I will tell you it's the best decision I've ever made, and I understand what it costs to consider a change like that when your life already looks like it's working.

I also run therapy groups [link to group page]. A group gives you people who are actually rooting for you to ask for more. You'll have others in the room who notice when you're settling and say so, and others who are working through their own version of the same restlessness, so you're not doing this alone or in the dark. It's one thing to decide you want more. It's another to practice actually pursuing it in front of people who won't let you quietly talk yourself out of it.

So many of my clients experience this dissatisfaction alongside anxiety. They are also often deep feeling, deep thinking people so the intensity of dissatisfaction is high and the rumination never ceases.

What Getting Better Looks Like

The goal here is clarity. You don’t even have to act on anything yet, just first gaining clarity about what you want can be hugely impactful.

Being able to sit with the question of what you actually want instead of shutting it down for being inconvenient. Trusting yourself enough to take the leap when it's actually time, instead of waiting for permission that isn't coming. Feeling like your life is something you're building on purpose, not something you're managing so it doesn't fall apart.

Some of my clients realize the dissatisfaction wasn't a flaw in an otherwise good life. It was information. Once they stopped treating it like a problem to fix, they could actually use it.

If this sounds like you, I'd love to talk.  Call or email to schedule a free consultation.

Your life looks right but it feels like something's missing